I do
by AddictedPenguin
Summary: Kidou Yuuto is getting married and Gouenji is not very happy about it. Is there any chance to stop him and confess his true feelings? Rated T because hints of sex.
1. Chapter 1

**I have never written something out of Gouenji's perspective before but I didn't think it was that difficult.**

**(Now that I say that- I hope that's not just what I think and that you guys think I completely screwed his character- I wrote this in two hours and finished it exactly at midnight.)**

**I don't really really really ship them that hard but on the other hand, I ship Kidou with almost everyone.**

**_IshidoShuuji_ this is for you dear, I hope you'll enjoy it! Happy birthday!**

* * *

Chapter one

Gouenji closes the door of his apartment and takes his shoes off with a sigh. He'll have to clean the floor again. It had been raining all morning and water is dripping from his clothes and hair on the muddy floor.

He runs his fingers through his wet, blonde locks. Usually a little rain doesn't really bother him, it's just the day that does. Today is Kidou's wedding day.

Gouenji walks over to his huge kitchen to make coffee for himself and throws a quick glance at the clock. Seven thirty, he still has enough time.

He couldn't sleep last night, he kept turning and over thinking. It must have been around five in the morning that he got up for an early run.  
It was still dark when he left the peacefully sleeping Kidou alone in his bed.

Last night was the last night they would even spend together.

He had mixed feelings about it, it felt so good to be with the brunette, but Kidou was hesitant and holding back.

"This is the last time, Shuuya." He had whispered while Gouenji was making his way down with his lips over Kidou's torso. From his chest to his abdomen, a long trail of soft kisses and bites downwards to Kidou's privates, a path they both went down on countless times.  
Gouenji had let out a low growl as respond to his words, he was well aware of it that it would be the last time, he didn't need a reminder, not now.

When Gouenji entered his lovers body he took an extra good look at his face, the joy mixed with slight pain even though they had done this so many times before. His eyes closed and his lips slightly parted, making soft noises on the rhythm Gouenji was moving with his hips.  
Kidou looked truly beautiful.

That was last night, after everyone had left the bachelor party he and Endou arranged for him. It was nothing big, just a night with all their friends at Gouenji's place.

Endou helped Gouenji clean up after all the guests left while Kidou was waiting in the bedroom, he wanted to help at first too but they both insisted, it was his party after all.

But that wasn't the only reason, Endou wanted to talk with the flame striker in private.

"You seem to be quite calm about it."

Gouenji smiles weakly. "It's my duty as one of the best men."

"Are you sure you want to do this, that you_ can_ do this while you actually don't approve the wedding?"

Gouenji purses his lips. "I do approve it…"  
"But you wish that would have been you." Endou finished for him.

Gouenji places the plates in the sink, looking at the water. "It's just going all so fast, first you, now him."

"I know," Endou smiled. When he sees the sour look on his friend's face he pulls him closer to hold him in a tight embrace.

Gouenji smiles and buries his face on Endou's shoulder. He smells like grass, even though he hasn't been outside. Or maybe he has, maybe Kidou's wedding also reminded him of the good old times.

When they break away Gouenji gives him a nod "You can go now, I can handle the rest."

Endou looks at him with a concerned look in his big, brown eyes. Something you don't see often coming from him. "Are you sure?"  
"I'll be fine. I just need a moment alone. Plus, Kidou is waiting for me."

Endou places his hand on his friend's shoulder, like he wants to wish him good luck and then leaves the apartment. Two years ago he would have joined them in bed. Things are really going too fast.

Gouenji goes on for another twenty minutes, it's quiet in the apartment and at some poit his own irregular breathing starts to bother him. He decides to leave it for the night, he can do the rest tomorrow evening, he'll have plenty of time then..

For a moment he feared that Kidou had fallen asleep already and that the whole night would be ruined. But as soon as Gouenji crawled next to the other male he responded with a soft kiss on his lips.

A kiss that was supposed to be short and gentle but turned out in a long, rough kiss between the two males.

Gouenji was almost drowning in it but he enjoyed every second of it, Kidou's warm tongue, his hands on his body and their erections pressed together.

Gouenji almost wished that this night would never end, but that would have been selfish.

Gouenji returns to the bedroom and finds an empty bed. When he hears the sound of the shower he is tempted to join. But they made a promise last night, and Kidou will be making an even bigger promise today.

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**I hope you enjoyed it all, don't forget to check out the final chapter if you're interested!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Gouenji looks in the mirror of his car and meets Kidou's eyes, he's wearing regular glasses for this day so he can actually look him in the eye. Kidou looks handsome in his suit with those glasses on. Extraordinary handsome.

"Nervous?"

Kidou shakes his head in respond. "Not really. It feels good with her, I don't have a reason to feel nervous, I am making the right decision."

Gouenji feels like Kidou just stabbed a knife right into his heart. He knows that his best friend didn't mean anything like it, but Gouenji feels like he just said that it's the best idea to be with her instead of him.

The _her_ we are talking about here is Karibe Ranko, coach of

Arakumo Gakuen. Gouenji grimaces, to think that he was the one who introduced them to each other.

They somehow connected at the first sight. They have the same way of thinking, they're smart and she's funny, not to speak of how incredibly beautiful she is, even Gouenji can't deny that.

When he first saw the coach he was still in his position as Seitei, they had been in touch a lot because of Amemiya Taiyou. But he never thought he'd be looking at Kidou's future wife. They way she dressed and the way she spoke, that doesn't fit Kidou at all. But it turned out that in her free time, she changed into the most well educated woman.

They started dating and suddenly it went fast. What he understood from Kidou was that they were talking about the future and somehow decided to get married. A romantic proposal followed from Kidou a few days later and there we are now, on their wedding day.

There are a lot of people, although they wanted to keep it small, they both have too many connections to actually do that.

Both Raimon, Teikoku and Arakumo Gakuen are there, all wanting to see their coaches getting married.

The old managers from Raimon and one close friend of Karibe herself are her bridesmaids. It were not only the girls she got along with right away, she also had a good connection with her fiancé's friends.

Everyone actually agreed that they are a great match together, even Fudou did (and after that Kidou could also not quite protest anymore against Fudou going out with his sister, he played it smart).

"Gouenji," he hears Endou say. "it's time."

The next half hour is quite blurry for him.

Karibe looks stunning in her dress and Gouenji felt the jealousy going through his body when he got notice of the slight blush on the groom's cheeks.

Honestly, what was he doing here? He is here to fulfil his duty as best friend and best man, but maybe Endou was right. He is the hypocrite here, standing next to Kidou as his best man while every vain in his body screams to stop his friend from getting married.

He suddenly realises this is not about the nights together anymore, that it's not about having a secret affair, Gouenji is in love with Kidou. He has always been. But he has the worst timing to realise his actual feelings for the male.

But there it is, his last bit of hope.

"If there are any objections to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Gouenji feels his hands sweating as he clenches them tight together, he clears throat and he hears himself say it.

"Yes, there are."

The silence is almost frightening him, all the eyes are on him, even Kidou's shocked eyes which is probably worse than all the guests all together.

"Yes," he says again, a little louder this time.

"Gouenji!" Haruna hisses. "What is the meaning of this?"

"I have something to confess and I can't let you get married without you knowing, Kidou."

Kidou's face looks even paler than Fudou's skin at this point. Gouenji gives Endou a quick glance. There's a look in his eyes he can't quite place. Disappointment, but also deep respect.

"I know that I am late, _again_. But there is something you have to know before you give her your word."

He can feel the excitement in the room, the judging but also curious stares, but his eyes are only focused on Kidou.

"For more than ten years we have been friends, we have been through so much together. First the three of us, you, me and Endou. But everything changed when he got married, and so did my feelings. We have been together for so long that I have... I have developed feelings for you."

"G-Gouenji...w-what... What are you trying to say?"

"I am trying to say that, Kidou Yuuto, I am hopelessly, desperately in love with you." Gouenji can feel his heart beat faster and faster every minute and he lost total control of what he's doing. Before he knows it he's down on one knee and gets the ring which is meant for the couple in front of him out of his pocket.

"Gouenji, what are you doing? Get up!" Natsumi tries but Endou gives her a look. Gouenji doesn't listen to her, or more, he can't even hear her.

"Kidou Yuuto, will you marry me?"

There is a long silence again before Kidou breaks and gives him the brightest smile he has ever seen from him. "Y-Yes, Gouenji Shuuya, yes I-"

"I do."

Gouenji looks up when Endou nudges his side for the second time this day.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

He forgot he had given the rings to Endou, in case he couldn't do it.

Kidou holds his wife by her waist and kisses her lovingly on the lips.

Almost everyone around him is crying tears of happiness but he is the only one crying out of pain.

He missed his chance, the love of his life is married now, and there is nothing he can change about it.

* * *

**Whoops. **

**Here comes an end to my story, leave a comment if you feel like it! **  
**I really enjoyed writing this. (That kind of sounds sadistic- but then for the people who know me, I quite am one.)**

**Again, happy birthday _IshidoShuuji_, I hope you enjoyed it too. **

**If there are ever any ideas or something you want me to write about, leave a comment, send me a message, I'd be happy for some motivation to write!**

**Much love,**

**Angel**


	3. Chapter 3

Gouenji unlocks the bathroom door and lets his hand rest on the handle without opening it. He knows he doesn't have to lock it anymore now that he's living all alone in his apartment, he just got used to it after living with Kidou for so long.

They weren't actually living together, they weren't even a couple, but Kidou was spending more time at his place than at his own mansion. He could understand that though, his own house is big, if you're all alone there it does get a little lonely. He also preferred staying over at Gouenji's place rather than his own. Even though he has the money Gouenji chose for a smaller apartment than he can afford and Kidou seemed to like it. He had been living in a huge house for years after all, the coziness of Gouenji's house might be what he needed.

They didn't have any secret from each other though, Gouenji often walked in when Kidou was showering. A little bit too often because one time Gouenji insisted to do it in the shower and Kidou was a little late for work (Kidou's story would be different if you'd ask him- he was two hours late).

After that time Kidou wanted to make a point by locking the door when he took a shower and somehow it became a habit of them to lock the door behind them (although their moments together in the shower didn't stop- maybe only increased now that the chances were rare).

Gouenji just finished drying his hair as he hears the doorbell. He lets the towel hang around his neck and reaches out for his pants before he heads to the hall to open the door. He glances at the clock, it's somewhere around midnight and he's not expecting a late visitor at all. It could be Fubuki coming over again, but he would have called Gouenji first if that would be the case.

But when he opens the door he sees the last person he was expecting.

"Kidou.."

Kidou looks up at him and gives him a smile Gouenji can't quite place, he doesn't have much time to think about it either because Kidou already took a step forward and pushes Gouenji inside. He kicks the door shut behind him and pushes until Gouenji hits the cold wall with his back.

Their faces are smashed together in a hot but mostly messy kiss with all tongue and sometimes their teeth clash. He can feel Kidou's nails dig into his skin and taste the alcohol in his breath. He pushes Kidou away from him, a little disappointed that this kiss only takes place because Kidou is most probably drunk.

The respond from the brunette is a soft growl and apparently he's not very pleased with Gouenji's action, stepping forward once again a presses their lips together for a second time, holding his face between his hands. Gouenji kisses him back and it feels good, he missed Kidou, he missed his touch, his lips he missed everything about him. But his heart is aching. This is not what Kidou really wants, he's drunk and the only thing he needs right now is distraction.

"Kidou," He says again, a little out of breath because of their intense kissing. "Kidou! Stop, I mean it!" He gets hold of Kidou's wrists when they are trying to unbutton his pants.

"Hypocrite," he hisses while he places his lips in Gouenji's neck. "you're the one opening the door with nothing more than just a tight pair of jeans."

Gouenji makes a soft noise when Kidou sucks on his skin. They did often change their positions as top and bottom but it was mostly Gouenji taking the lead, the moments that Kidou did were extra special and always made him feel so good, but it doesn't feel the same. Kidou's kisses and touches are rather impatient, he's eager for flesh, any kind of, it doesn't have to be Gouenji specifically, he's just here to make out.

"Kidou I am serious!" He yells out when Kidou is fumbling with his pants again. "You're married, you shouldn't be doing this now! You shouldn't even be here, go back to your wife!" Gouenji tries to keep his voice steady but that's kind of difficult when someone is leaving a hickey in your neck.

Kidou will only regret this tomorrow morning and will blame him for it if he won't stop him now. He loves Kidou, and because he loves him he should refrain himself from sleeping with him, for his sake.

"Please stop talking," Kidou breathes against his skin. I don't want to talk. Because when I talk I have to think and that's the last thing I want to do right now."

Gouenji must say that he's surprised how much sense Kidou is making despite the condition is now, but he has never seen Kidou this drunk either.

Usually he just loosens up and is suddenly the nicest and funniest man you'll ever meet. He would be the perfect guy if he wouldn't have that much trouble with walking in a straight line.

Gouenji let his guard down for a moment and he feels Kidou pinning his wrists against the wall. A position that would really turn him on if the situation would have been different.

"Please, stop, Kidou you will only regret this!"

"No I won't."

Gouenji is startled, the brunette sounds like he really means his words.

"Leaving you was the worst mistake I ever made." He says hoarsely.

"Y..Yuuto.."

"I love you, Shuuya." He murmurs softly in his ear and Gouenji feels a shiver going down over his spine. What is happening?

Kidou frees the blonde's wrists and looks him right in the eye. "I love you." He says again and buries his face on the tanned man's shoulder.

Kidou is sobbing quietly on his shoulder. Gouenji feels the warm tears on his bare skin and suddenly he feels like tearing up as well.

"I love you too." He whispers and holds him in a tight embrace.

They are standing there for a while, both in tears, Kidou still drunk but Gouenji never felt happier than this ever before.

* * *

He takes his friend to the living room and gives him a glass with water as he sits next to him on the sofa.

"I'm sorry," He whispers when he finishes his first sip.

"It..It is fine, I wasn't going to sleep yet I—"

"No, I am also sorry for that and confessing like this to you in a state like this but I am also sorry for leaving you behind." He lays his hand on Gouenji's knee and Gouenji realises how sober the brunette already sounds again.

"I should have told you how I felt too. It seems we were both hiding our true feelings."

Kidou nods and takes another sip of his water, he seems to be deep in thoughts.

"And now?" Gouenji asks after a moment of silence. "What about your wife? You've been married for merely a month."

"I am not sure, I really don't know what to do. I love her, I really do, but I miss you so much." Kidou squeezes in Gouenji's knee.

"Maybe you were right earlier." Gouenji says as he takes Kidou's glass and puts it on the table.

"About what?"

"We should stop talking, we already said enough for the night." He leans in and gives Kidou a soft kiss on his lips, and another one, and another one.

Kidou leans back on the sofa till Gouenji is lying on him and wraps his arms around the blonde's bare torso.

They made each other clear enough with words how much they missed each other, now it's not the time for words anymore, they will show each other through their actions what they have been missing.

* * *

Gouenji wakes up with a pleasant feeling in his body but when he reaches out for the other side of the bed he realises that it's empty. He's alone.

For a moment he fears that it was all just a dream, that it was too good to be ture. Kidou never confessed his love to him.

But Kidou's scent is still in the sheets and the empty wrapping of the condom they used last night treasons that it wasn't just a good dream.

The fear vanishes and gets replaced for the same happy feeling as he woke up with and he buries his face on the pillow Kidou slept on, inhaling his scent.

He loves him. He loves him too.

Now the big question is, where is he? Gouenji lifts his head from the pillow and looks around in the room. Kidou's clothes are gone and there's a note on his nightstand.

Gouenji sits upright and looks at the yellow piece of paper. He slowly reaches his hand out to get it.

"_I'm sorry, I can't._"

That's all it says and apparently that's all Gouenji means to him. Leaving a note like he's nothing but a simple toy for his satisfaction.

Gouenji crumples the note in his hand and throws it away from him.

_I'm sorry. I can't. I'm sorry. I can't._

The words repeat themselves over and over again in his head. This wasn't supposed to happen.. or maybe they weren't supposed to happen.

Whatever it was that happened last night, it meant nothing to Kidou.

He never thought that Kidou would be the type to use him like that..

His head falls back on the pillow and he stares up at the ceiling. He feels empty inside but he cannot cry. Kidou broke his heart for the second time.

...

..

...

Suddenly the door opens and Gouenji can't believe his own eyes. There's Kidou, with a tray in his hands, wearing Gouenji's bathrobe.

"Good morning."

He opens his mouth to say something but he can't find the words.

"But.. I thought .. the note said..and you…what…what are you doing here?"

"Surprise." Kidou says casually and places the tray on the bed. "I made breakfast for you."

"Still in shock?" He comments and laughs when he sees Gouenji's face. "You always wake up around the same time so I figured you would have seen the note by now, and it seems that I'm right." He hums happily.

Gouenji is still staring at him, speechless as Kidou continues. "It worked out pretty well I must say. I put my clothes in your closet so you wouldn't suspect that something's off."

"W-why?" He stumbles, still looking at Kidou like he is some kind of hallucination.

Kidou holds a piece of Turkish bread in front of Gouenji's face and feeds him. He bought that because they both loved it when they visited Turkey together over a year ago. But it didn't taste the same as there, and it didn't taste good at all without Kidou.

"See it as a little act of revenge," He syas on a sweet tone. "Shuuji."

Gouenji almost chokes and quickly takes a sip of the water Kidou served by the tea.

When he feels he can breathe normally again he throws a pillow in Kidou's direction, which he easily catches and looks at his friend's flustered face with a teasing smile.

Gouenji looks back at him, feeling that his cheeks are burning. It feels like a complete different man is sitting here with him on the bed.

He looks happier than he has ever seen him before and his crimson eyes have a certain mischievous sparkle in them.

"Does this mean that you're staying?"

"Yes," He says softly and places his hand on Gouenji's cheek.

He leans in until their lips are just a few inches away from each other. "I'm staying." He says before he closes the gap between them.

Gouenji closes his eyes and smiles against his lips. A whole new period is about to begin for the two of them.

* * *

**I wasn't planning to, this was not my intention but I couldn't help myself, but I can assure you guys that this is the last chapter!  
I was also not planning to let this have a happy ending either. It was supposed to end after the note Kidou left- but aah I wanted to see your smiling faces instead of sobbing all over your keyboard, phone, tablet or whatever you're using.**

**Heather I hope you're satisfied and you all I hope you enjoyed it. Leave a comment if you want to share your thoughts about it. And I apologise if I spelled Gouenji's name wrong somewhere, he has one hell of a difficult name.**

**Angel**


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